🧳 Saturday: Arrival & Strategic Settling

• 3:00 PM – Check-In
  Everyone immediately scopes out the bathroom like it’s a holy relic.
  First to use it? Forever known as the Alpha.

• Stock-Up Mission
  Hit up Publix or Total Wine for essentials:

  • Beer

  • Beef jerky

  • Bathroom spray (seriously, get two)

  • PRO-TIP - Use Wal-Mart Delivery

• Dinner Options

  • 🍖 The Grumpy Monk – chill beer bar with burgers, wings, and zero judgment

  • 🍺 Damon’s Grill – oceanfront, man-sized ribs, and actual napkins

  • 🍕 Ultimate California Pizza – no-frills, full bellies

• Evening

  • 🎯 810 Billiards & Bowling – bowl, shoot pool, sip drinks, pretend you're still 23

  • 🛁 Bathroom Battle Plan: Agree on a shower rotation before chaos ensues. Assign a “designated deodorizer.”

⛳ Sunday: Golf & Sunburns

• Breakfast:
  In-condo eggs, coffee, and an awkward wait for the one shower.

• Morning Tee Time
  Book early at:

  • Barefoot Resort (fancy)

  • Whispering Pines (close & forgiving)

  • Or Whale Back if your swing is still “under development”

• Lunch:

  • River City Café – paper towel rolls as napkins = your kind of place

  • Firehouse Subs if you're on the move

• Afternoon:
  Chill beach session.
  Pro tip: rotate who gets bathroom access first for the sand rinse-off.

• Dinner:

  • 🍤 Sea Captain’s House – ocean views, seafood, linen napkins (classy bros unite)

  • 🌮 Nacho Hippo – margaritas, queso, and accidental karaoke later

• Evening:
  Beach beers, poker night, or arguing over who’s been in the bathroom “forever.”

🎣 Monday: Fishing, Boats, and Gas Station Sunglasses

• Breakfast:
  Muffins and coffee while yelling “Who’s still in the bathroom?”

• Morning Options:

  • 🎣 Deep sea fishing charter – bring sunscreen, motion sickness meds, and sea shanties

  • 🚤 Jet Ski rental – be reckless responsibly

• Lunch:

  • Dead Dog Saloon – perfect view, cold beer, fried everything

  • Boardwalk Billy’s – on the water, chill vibes

• Afternoon:

  • Walk the boardwalk, hit up It’Sugar ironically

  • Play skee-ball for shots at Fun Plaza

• Dinner:

  • 🍺 Duffy Street Seafood Shack – low-key, lots of hush puppies

  • 🍝 Angelo’s Steak & Pasta – buffet meets dad-joke energy

• Evening:
  Boardwalk bar hop:

  • Fat Tuesday (slushy drinks)

  • Crocodile Rocks (dueling pianos = chaos)

🤕 Tuesday: Recovery Mode or Round Two

• Breakfast:
  Cold brew and bacon. Avoid eye contact with whoever blew up the bathroom.

• Morning Options:

  • 🏍️ ATV rentals or banana boat rides

  • 😴 Or “light coma until noon”

• Lunch:

  • Big Mike’s Soul Food – fried chicken therapy

  • Cook Out – 3 sides and a milkshake for like $5 = healing

• Afternoon:

  • Beach nap

  • Chill at Topgolf for swings, apps, and AC

• Dinner:

  • 🍖 Dick’s Last Resort – rude waiters, messy tables, absolute legend status

  • 🍣 Soho – sushi & steaks for when the group cleans up well (eventually... 1 bathroom)

🎢 Wednesday: Waterpark & Family Kingdom Night

• Breakfast:
  Try Johnny D’s if you're up early. Or coffee and beef sticks if you’re not.

• Morning:
  💦 Myrtle Waves Water Park – lazy river = therapy, slides = injury

• Lunch:
  Funnel cakes count.
  Or hit Peaches Corner for greasy goodness.

• Afternoon:
  🍻 Nap, hydrate, rotate showers like civilized cavemen

• 5:00 PM – FAMILY KINGDOM
  Go full throttle on rides, coasters, and weird fair food.
  Who’s brave enough for the Slingshot? (Peer pressure is undefeated.)

• Dinner:

  • Park food, or

  • 🍕 Mellow Mushroom to soak up the adrenaline

🏴‍☠️ Thursday: Boats & Buffets

• Breakfast:
  Bagels + Gatorade while waiting in the sacred bathroom line

• Morning:

  • 🛥️ Rent a pontoon & cruise the Intracoastal

  • Or do a pirate cruise and heckle from the back row

• Lunch:

  • Dockside at Boardwalk Billy’s

  • Or Little Pigs BBQ for smoky perfection

• Afternoon:
  Final golf round or…nap like champions

• Dinner:
  🍤 Captain George’s Buffet – it’s seafood, it’s endless, it’s nap-inducing
  🧻 (And it will absolutely test the bathroom situation. Choose wisely.)

• Evening:
  One last boys’ night—bar hop, card games, or tell the same college stories again like they just happened.

🧳 Friday: Beach, Beer, & Broments

• Breakfast:
  ☕ Dino’s Pancakes or last-day fridge leftovers

• Morning:
  Chill beach day
  Football catch, tan lines, deep life talks that end with: “You good?” “Yeah, I’m good.”

• Lunch:

  • Five Guys

  • Or fast tacos from Taco Mundo

• Afternoon:
  Pack. Clean. Strategize final bathroom turns. Nobody wins.

• Dinner:
  Group vote for greatest hit of the week
  Then beach beers and one last “brofie” at sunset

🧼 Saturday: The Farewell Flush

• Breakfast:
  Gas station coffee and one regret per person

• Pack Up:
  Leave no man behind. Or any underwear behind the bathroom door.

• Check-Out by 10:00 AM

  • Group text says: “Same time next year?”

  • One guy says “definitely,” but his wife will absolutely not allow it.